Scientists announced yesterday a quantum leap forward in the field of "invisibility cloak" technology. Using artificial composite structures known as metamaterials, scientists now have the ability to theoretically create an invisibility cloak of limitless size. The drawback is that the metamaterial is extremely difficult to produce. Also, the invisible properties are dependent on a specific polarization of light. Nonetheless, yesterday's revelations present significant advancement.
I am excited by the possibilities. The implications are great and the applications are numerous. A functioning invisibility cloak would effect our society in ways only imagined in "Star Trek" and "Harry Potter." This is a fact: invisibility cloaks will unite our society in the most profound manner. No longer will teenage boys use "Carrie" as their only point of reference for the goings-on of the girl's locker room. We could pass them out to the homeless for "warmth." Property values will skyrocket after we "tepee" our penitentiaries under their comforting embrace. With invisibility cloaks, we can weave a clear path for the future success of humanity.
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